I was looking for the meaning of word 'Romance' in the dictionary. Since in real life, especially in the lives of married couples, it's a bit difficult to trace. Surprisingly the meanings that I found were also a bit unreal.
Following are the meanings I found :
Now I am feeling a bit angry at all those things that create such a fanciful picture of romance. Excessive reading of mills and boons ( that too during the lectures in college ) where the settings always had heart shaped balloons in background, scented candles and lots of cake. Am I talking like a collegiate.huh.The settings that I so beautifully described reminded me of a classmate in college, whose boyfriend had come all the way from a different city, actually 5 hours away from ours (read distant land like as in fairy tales ) to celebrate Valentine's day with her. Yes. Valentine's day was a big thing before marriage. He sat outside the college gate with a guitar in hand waiting for her ladylove. From there, they went on their beautiful date. We all saw them squeamishly, but behaved as if we didn't care. Ofcourse, We did. Me and my group of friends grudgingly pointed out "She's not even that pretty that someone should pamper her that way". She was plain average. Really. The next day she recounted the experiences of her date, he proposed, they kissed ( the entire class faked some ooohs and my gang of girls singed with envy ), he shared his intentions of taking her to his far off land. She was also very proudly flaunting that he doesn't want her to cook after marriage so there's no kitchen in the house. It's an english style house you see. A friend wondered out aloud if they had a bathroom also in the house or they will use the neighbours to which all of us had a hearty laugh (wicked).
Now I am thinking from a Man' s perspective If your woman has such romantic notions in life where will the poor hubby go !!!
Following are the meanings I found :
1. a novel or other prose narrative depicting heroic or marvellous deeds, pageantry usually in a historical or imaginary setting.
2.
the colorful world, life, or conditions depicted in such tales.
3.
a medieval narrative, originally one in verse and in some Romance dialect, treating of heroic, fantastic, or supernatural events, often in the form of allegory.
4.
a baseless, made-up story, usually full of exaggeration or fanciful invention.
I was confounded . An emotion that I always thought is absent in my marital life, does not even exist in reality. It was a bit galling to believe. I decided to look out for a few quotes on Romance. After all Literature is known to glorify life's delusions.This is what I found.
"Romance reading and writing might be seen ... as a collectively elaborated female ritual through which women explore the consequences of their common social condition as the appendages of men and attempt to imagine a more perfect state where all the needs they so intensely feel and accept as given would be adequately addressed."
More Discomfiture. I switched on some Bollywood love songs replete with happy couples merrily swaying to mesmerizing music with snow clad alps in the background . Aah. Finally, felt a bit better. Atleast my dreamlike assertions had some subsistence. But this eureka moment didn't last long as reality dawned quickly. I had actually discovered its ( Romance's) existence in imaginary world only.
More Discomfiture. I switched on some Bollywood love songs replete with happy couples merrily swaying to mesmerizing music with snow clad alps in the background . Aah. Finally, felt a bit better. Atleast my dreamlike assertions had some subsistence. But this eureka moment didn't last long as reality dawned quickly. I had actually discovered its ( Romance's) existence in imaginary world only.
Hubby dearest inturrupted my ramblings as he came close to give a peck on my cheek and say goodnight. Is that Romance ? I asked myself. I was transported back from my imaginary world and started looking for this word in my life .
Caring for your spouse's value systems, beliefs and principles is romance, letting her have her way almost 90 percent of the times, buying a smart phone for her before you buy for yourself, having her have the last piece of pizza when you also want it equally badly, never letting past arguments affect future ones, on being woken up by your wife at 2 in the morning just because she feels a bit insecure about your love, you have the energy and patience to explain things calmly, (knowing so well that she has the luxury of sleeping the entire next day and you have work ), letting her decide when she wants to plan the family and having her way, alllowing her to complain about your mother to you whenever she wants to, upon coming late from work tiptoeing in the house so that she is not disturbed, warming your own food and not bothering her, allowing her total space in her gallant culinary ventures ( which are generally bloopers ) and then assuaging her mood with pacifying words waiting for her at the dinner table no matter how hungry he is, patiently handling the baby and following her from one shop to another for the perfect dress that would suit her imperfect figure, going out in chilly weather to get her favourite food...the list is endless.
I am feeling a bit ashamed for taking hubby dearest for granted and still complaining about the absence of romance. Romance in real life is probably more real. You can't be dancing in chiffon sarees in minus zero temperatures. While attending a wedding in peak winters in north India, the weather got the better of me, thanks to the flimsy chiffon saree. I puked in hubby's friend's brand new car. Poor hubby dearest was looking for mops and antibacterial stuff for cleaning at 2 in the morning. ( the friend ofcourse was never told about this)
You can't expect diamond rings every day ( Actually,I generally don't like his choice. I have exchanged 90 percent of the gifts he ever bought me ), candle light dinner settings are too dim in real life ( Once at it, I remember complaining I can't see my food ), looking into each others eyes (I am always the first one to blink when we do that), buying you flowers,Yes he does that many times, dedicates songs for me while standing at the beach, expensive holidays, yes he does that (but no surprises they are planned by me ) he doesn't play with my hair like they so romantically do in movies ( but I don't maintain them..he once tried and his fingers were stuck, and yes he never leaves the house without kissing me .
You can't expect diamond rings every day ( Actually,I generally don't like his choice. I have exchanged 90 percent of the gifts he ever bought me ), candle light dinner settings are too dim in real life ( Once at it, I remember complaining I can't see my food ), looking into each others eyes (I am always the first one to blink when we do that), buying you flowers,Yes he does that many times, dedicates songs for me while standing at the beach, expensive holidays, yes he does that (but no surprises they are planned by me ) he doesn't play with my hair like they so romantically do in movies ( but I don't maintain them..he once tried and his fingers were stuck, and yes he never leaves the house without kissing me .
Now I am feeling a bit angry at all those things that create such a fanciful picture of romance. Excessive reading of mills and boons ( that too during the lectures in college ) where the settings always had heart shaped balloons in background, scented candles and lots of cake. Am I talking like a collegiate.huh.The settings that I so beautifully described reminded me of a classmate in college, whose boyfriend had come all the way from a different city, actually 5 hours away from ours (read distant land like as in fairy tales ) to celebrate Valentine's day with her. Yes. Valentine's day was a big thing before marriage. He sat outside the college gate with a guitar in hand waiting for her ladylove. From there, they went on their beautiful date. We all saw them squeamishly, but behaved as if we didn't care. Ofcourse, We did. Me and my group of friends grudgingly pointed out "She's not even that pretty that someone should pamper her that way". She was plain average. Really. The next day she recounted the experiences of her date, he proposed, they kissed ( the entire class faked some ooohs and my gang of girls singed with envy ), he shared his intentions of taking her to his far off land. She was also very proudly flaunting that he doesn't want her to cook after marriage so there's no kitchen in the house. It's an english style house you see. A friend wondered out aloud if they had a bathroom also in the house or they will use the neighbours to which all of us had a hearty laugh (wicked).
Now I am thinking from a Man' s perspective If your woman has such romantic notions in life where will the poor hubby go !!!
What was Alfer Noyce thinking when he wrote the Highwayman. You can't make hubby dearest come riding a horse, to meet you in the night like the poem giving false ideas to impressionable souls.
He rose upright in the stirrups; he scarce could reach her hand,
But she loosened her hair i' the casement! His face burnt like a brand
As the black cascade of perfume came tumbling over his breast;
And he kissed its waves in the moonlight,
(Oh, sweet, black waves in the moonlight!)
Then he tugged at his rein in the moonliglt, and galloped away to the West.
But she loosened her hair i' the casement! His face burnt like a brand
As the black cascade of perfume came tumbling over his breast;
And he kissed its waves in the moonlight,
(Oh, sweet, black waves in the moonlight!)
Then he tugged at his rein in the moonliglt, and galloped away to the West.
Well, My highway man has gone off to sleep waiting for me.zzzzz
No comments:
Post a Comment